This site was created in loving memory of Ryan Adam Rudolph who tragically died of a heroin overdose on October 20, 2007 – 25 days short of his 19th birthday. Ryan is survived by his parents, brother, maternal and paternal grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews – who all loved, supported and encouraged Ryan during his struggle, and who continue to try to make some sense of his death.
Bud, I miss and love you more every day – Love ya, Dad.
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I created a YouTube video in Ryan's memory...to view the video click the link ==> Ryan's Video
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At Ryan's funeral, I made a promise – to Ryan and myself – that Ryan would not be just another kid who died of a drug overdose. That somehow, I would try to help one person make better choices or help one family deal with the insanity of drug addiction. This site is a result of that promise.
I’ve tried to include information you may find useful and that may have helped Ryan and me during his struggle. The site is honest – the words you find on its pages come from the heart of its author whose sole purpose is to help a person who's struggling, a parent, a brother or sister, a family member, a friend, or just someone looking for information.
The site includes:
Ryan Stories – How can I tell you what it’s like to watch someone you love with your whole heart and soul self destruct…helplessly watch them morph into another person, slip further and further away, and know that a tragic end is a real possibility? From the son who I shared a secret handshake with to one who spent the last 68 days of his life in jail. I’ve tried to tell the story of the Ryan before drugs and the Ryan after drugs – the good and the bad. These stories paint a picture of who he was and who he became…stories from memory, notes, cards and the many letters we exchanged during his stays in jail. Signs and Red Flags – Many parents of addicts look back and ask ourselves if there were signs that we somehow failed to recognize. In hindsight most of us would say there were but we either shrugged them off as normal teenage behavior or were unaware of their significance. We may have moved on to feelings of denial or embarrassment. Bottom line: the signs are there but they’re different for each person. In Our Words – Many addicts are in recovery like Jessie, a friend of Ryan's. She suggested we ask addicts, parents, friends, family members: “If you only had a paragraph or two to explain your experience with drugs what would you say?” We'll share their answers. Resources – Rather than attempt to maintain a constantly changing directory of organizations, treatment centers and rehabilitation programs, we’ve listed keywords and phrases that can be used on any Internet search engine to help you locate a program that meets your needs (another suggestion by Jessie).
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I would like to acknowledge a number of people who continue to help me fulfill my promise2ryan – Ryan G, Howie, Lewis, Jeremiah, Rick, Lisa, George, Dave and Debby, Linda, Jessie, and Brandon. Thanks to Dr. Carroll who provided me with insight, guidance, and understanding of the world of addiction. And thanks to my family who have always remained at my side, and to Sue and her family for their support.
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